The Contract
As a Bar or Bat Mitzvah take their first steps into adulthood, you can expect changes in the way you think of yourself and in the way your environment (family, friends and the community) thinks of you. Usually, in order to effect a change, you have to make a deliberate attempt at it. There is a better chance of getting the changes you want if you are able to state them clearly and also set the expectations and raise the awareness of everyone that is involved. To enforce these changes, we recommend agreeing to a contract. A contract with yourself, a contract with your parents, with a friend/s and others. This contract should describe the expectations each party has from each other and what are the respective privileges and responsibilities. That way, each side knows the duties that need to be fulfilled.
Contracts help parties commit to a new situation
Rabbi Amar
On Personal Contracts
"A personal contract is a great way to encourage individual responsibility, which results in you acknowledging that it is the choices you make that drive your actions. You are responsible for your behavior towards yourself and others and taking this responsibility is a great indication of personal growth and maturity."
Brian Glickman
Alumni Parent
"With a teenager, and all the changes that they undergo, it is always challenging to establish, and adhere to, any guidelines. Surprisingly, clearly stating our respective commitments and responsibilities in black and white in a contract gave us something to fall back on when arguments popped up. I don't remember that we ever actually had to go look at the document; the mere mention of the contract we both signed was enough of a reminder for all of us."
At first I wasn't enthusiastic about signing a contract; I thought it was a waste of time. In practice, about 2 months after the program ended, I found that I was much more mindful of my commitments and it made me feel very mature.
The idea of the contract isn't so much about the document, it's about clearly laying out what you want to achieve and the ways to ensure you can achieve it.
Bekka Perlman
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A contract between equals, with the terms clearly laid out, can be very effecive